Don’t make tipsy blog posts. They make no sense at all. Chanelling my 90s self? Eh?
Anyway, in other news, my boyfriend may well have Swine Flu. UH OH. It’s obviously hard to tell seeing as you can’t actually get a diagnosis from the doctors. So we went here, and BOY is it a load of panicked pish posh. Oh well, at least Tamiflu will speed up the process whether he has it or not…
Edited for drunk reasonz.
I was reminiscing the other day about how much I loved Tom and Jerry as a kid. And as an adult.
Hilarious. Genius. Killer musical scores. Think about HOW much effort went into each episode.
I always loved Tom the most and wanted him to eat Jerry, the little shit. I also used to fantasies over:
1. Having a Zoot Suit.
2. Eating the entire contents of the Mammy Two-Shoe’s fridge. How do cartoons manage to make chicken drumsticks look SO good?
3. Going to Heaven on the Golden Escalator.
I could blab on all day, so instead I’ll leave you with a few of my faves:
The last one was GENIUS.
And now it’s time for a shopping wishlist:
Yes, it’s a ring.
There’s more, but I’m drunk and I can’t be bovved.
I entered a comp with Dazed. Sounded sexy. So go vote for my butt:
It’s real. It’s actually real. Oh my god I just did a fat CRAP in my nappy.
Soooooo…not only do I get an episodic series sndfbjdfdhsjfdhsfjksdhadjs. Nofgdbgjkfdhjgkdfnjksfghdsfjgnjl/fdznvmcx mcvzklbjfdizjgdfa. Nah, can’t even type from excitement. So ermmm….they’re ALSODSOJASFPOISOASnfdkslhfdlajfkldsjfkldsjafkldjsfkdskalf.
THEY ARE ALSO RELEASING A REMAKE OF THE SECRET OF MONKEY ISLAND.
Oh and I need this:
This woman is totally my new hero. Words can’t express my desire for her. She’s a sexual nerd. Monkeys. Cheese. Wine. Done. I’m just going to post the interview and let you perve/adore/want her life:
Secondly. Check this out. Wow. The commitment alone makes my eyes bleed. The fact that it’s so shockingly amazing adds to the love:
You can see more of his stuff here.
Thirdly, I have been introduced by a sexy friend of mine to a fab new site. It’s called LOOKBOOK. You basically post looks and perve on other people’s. Or just peruese page after page of home-made style. It’s utterly inspirational, and great if you’re bored stiff of mundane celebrity style like I am – but unfortunately invite-only for the minute. You’ll all just have to perve. It’s worth it though. I have a profile you can look at if you want:
I wanted to post loads and pretend that I’m really cool, but you can only post one look per 6 hours. Wah. Also I’m not someone who dresses up on their own and takes photos of themselves on their iMac’s, so I only have old photos on there. The new ones will just have to come when they come. If you’re already on there, post me a link to yours!
Lastly, a bizarre thing happened to me on Friday night. My mum (who usually goes to bed at 10pm) was up at 1:30am having a fag outside. Our friendly pikey neighbour happened to bump into her and they got chatting. She runs a farm and basically a lot of animals get dumped there. Including some kittens. Her daughter had basically taken one home on the sly, and she just whipped it out. Told me she didn’t want it. And asked if I wanted her. Hmmmmm…let me have a little think about that. Sheesh. Hard choice. Not only do I have two cats and adore them more than life itself, but this creature in my arms is the most beautious thing my eyes can handle. There was no question. Of COURSE I’d have her. I also felt so bad because she’s CLEARLY too young to be away from her mother. Maybe 4-5 weeks. So she needs me. I am her proverbial teet. Come my beautiful, tiny, bambi-legged, floppy eared baby. Come suckle. LOOK AT HER.
She’s nameless as it stands. We always take a long long time to name our children. It just falls into place when the time is right. She’s like a kitten husky. OOF.
So.
I am continuing my trend of not even attempting to sleep until 2am and blogging it up. I am listening to Max Richter and drinking Green Tea.
Last night I had a dream that I was in love with The Devil.
He was trying to hurt me/make me hate him but it wasn’t working. I felt painfully overwhelming feelings of love towards him. When he wasn’t near me I would be yearning for him and want him back. I’d have to call for him (in some weird spiritual way), and he also couldn’t resist me.
At one point, the sky was filed with hot air balloons and he was with me. I wasn’t able to see him throughout my dream. Only feel him.
I asked him ‘So, being The Devil, what are your weaknesses?’
He showed me a list on some parchment.
‘Love’.
‘Happiness’.
‘Friendship’.
A few more. the list was short.
And at the top of the list was my name. In full.
He walked away and I finally saw him. He was tall…7 ft or more. Muscular/giant. Ugly but astoundingly beautiful…like a Grecian statue, with charcoal-coloured skin.
I woke up wanting him. Needing him.
Am I going to hell?
I only hear of Devil dreams being bad. This was a wonderful dream.
Ummm.
‘They say that the Devil is a charming man.’
Whoopsie! I’ve been a busy bee, dipping my trotters into as many creative pies as possible. I feel like I’m spilling over with ideas at the moment. I like it. I think it’s the weather. Well was the weather. Today it’s grossly miserable and I have the lights on at 10am. Depressing.
Anyway, my child/blog has been neglected. Soz! Let’s get down to business. Good things?
1. Summer Holiday booked. A week of brutal sun/beer/pool/bbqs/tiny dresses is very much needed.
2. Buying presents. I like to do this. It’s my lover’s birthday tomorrow and I am definitely the present king.
3. Robert.
My, Robert. That’s a wonderful face you have there. And you have sufficiently satisfied my vampire longing. I haven’t felt this way since Gary Oldman. You’re not quite up to his standards, but I like you very much all the same.
4. Galaxy Chocolate. Yeah. I’m into this big time. In fact I am at-this-very-moment caressing a large bar against my tongue. Oh, you. You’re so smooth. Diet tomorrow yeah?
5. Juno.
She continues to fill my days with unrelenting glee. Her squeeks (yes she squeeks instead of miaowing) are almost inaudible in their high-pitched wonder. She still watches me sleep. And she doesn’t grow! She’s tiny – a miracle eterni-kitten.
6. My new fixed lense. A whole new leese of life for my camera.
7. This:
This post was not as impressive as I’d have liked. Darn.
Follow me!
“THROUGH ME TO THE CITY OF PAIN,
THROUGH ME TO ETERNAL AGONY,
THROUGH ME TO THE LOST TRIBES.
JUSTICE MOVED MY MIGHTY MAKER:
THE DIVINE POWER CREATED ME,
ALMIGHTY WISDOM, LOVE SUPREME.
BEFORE I WAS NO CREATION
IF NOT ETERNAL, ETERNAL AS ME.
SHED ALL HOPE, YOU WHO ENTER.”
I am going to buy a gargoyle, get this inscribed on it and hang it over my door. I love Dante.
In other news, I am extraordinarily excited about this:
I am thoroughly devastated that I missed the first issue. I’ll never let you down again Jamie. Anyway. It’s delish. Really nice layout, lovely Photography and sexy Typography. It’s designed in the style of the High-End Fashion magazines I like to spend a fortune on. And of course it’s Jam-Packed with food treats galore. After purchasing this, I was spurred to a 2-hour-long Jamie At Home youtube rampage, which was a delight (even though I’ve seen them all before). I’m never really bothered about buying Food Magazines. They’re just never juicy enough. Olive, for example, is a sniff. Too thin. NOT ENOUGH FOOD.
I visited the Natural History Museum the other day. I’ve been before, obviously, but this time I really visited to soak in the Architecture. On first glance it just looks like a big Cathedral, then you look a little closer and realise that rather than carvings of Angels and other religious visuals, the entire building is adorned with Lions, and Tigers and Eels (oh my). I adore it. I want to live in it. I love you forever Darwin.
The book-shop within also made me want to puke with excitement. We spent most of our time in there. I would have bought out the whole place if I could. Oh, and the Bird display? Erm. I finally got to meet my God, aka Mr. Shoebill. And my immortal Love, Mr. Frogmouth (see my Bird Obsession Post). It was the highlight of my life.
I want these:
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